Recently someone texted that they wanted to talk with me. 

Of course, I went into a panic and called  right away, because, of course, who wouldn’t think that a brief text with a request to talk usually means something not great is happening?!

When we got on the phone, it was so far from what I was expecting, and it blew my mind. 

They wanted to apologize. The apology was for something more recently but then stretched back for things from a few decades ago. 

The words used were simply, ‘I’m sorry’. 

Now I know that may seem overly simple and to some, that may not mean much. To me, it meant the world. It meant that the hurt that I’d been holding onto and trying to let go and forgive were able to have space. It meant that all the years of meditating, therapy, writing and whatever else we all do to try to let go of those feelings dispersed. 

At that moment, the simple acknowledgement allowed me, on some wierd level, to just drop and forgive. 

I didn’t need to talk about it. No more processing was needed. I felt a huge weight lifted from my mind and spirit. 

While we may not be able to get an ‘I’m sorry’ from every single person that hurt us, and we may not even get those words from the people right in front of us, but what we do have power over, is that we can acknowledge the ways we may have (advertantly or inadvertantly) hurt others. 

I’m big on focusing on the areas where we do have power in our lives. 

I also feel very strongly that, when we make a turn in the right direction, it also frees up and gives permission to  others to do the same. Is there someone that you feel like something you said or did hurt someone? Whether it was intended or not? Is there someway that you can make amends? A letter perhaps, if you don’t feel strong enough to meet them face-to-face. Make a video and send it? 

I feel that there’s something perceptibly wrong in our culture that makes it too hard for people to, with heart, apologize for wrongs done. Is it the ego? Do we feel like we’ve failed someone and can’t admit it? If you have ideas, let me know because I’m truly curious about what the root is and why we can’t admit fault.

My Challenge to you: I know it’s counter-intuitive to say, but I truly believe that those 2 words can free both ourselves, but also others in our lives.  Where, in your life, can an ‘I’m sorry’ change someone’s life?  It can be as small as starting with your partner. Your children. Your parent.  I’ve been practicing this in my immediate family. Whether they get the full meaning of it or not, I’ve been practicing ‘I’m sorry’ so that I can pattern to my kids that’s it’s ok to make mistakes. We mess up. When we do, I’m practicing admitting that I was wrong in that moment and that it’s ok to show that we’re not perfect.  And hopefully that creates some circles of change in the world.

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